Living with breast cancer
The first few months after surgery can be very upsetting. You might have intense feelings including:
grief
fear
shock
anger
Your self confidence might also be affected.
People react very differently to surgery. Most women need time to come to terms with changes to their breast. You need to give yourself time to adjust. You get used to your new body shape and false breast shape (prosthesis) if you wear one. And you’ll find that your confidence will gradually come back as time passes.
There will still be emotional ups and downs and you may find anxieties coming back such as when you go for a check up. Or new situations, such as being with a new partner, might bring up more insecurities.
Talking to people who have had similar experiences can help. Ask your breast care nurse about local support groups or good online support groups. You can contact Cancer Research UK's online forum called Cancer Chat.
Women find different ways of dealing with the changes to their bodies. You might prefer to see the results of the surgery for the first time when you are alone. Or you might want someone to be with you when you take your first look.
Your surgeon will do all they can to make sure your scars are as discreet as possible. They will fade with time.
It can be hard to accept changes in your looks that you are not happy with.
You might be worried about how your children will see you and how it might affect them. It is normal to worry about these things. But the people closest to you won't see you any differently as a person.
There are several things that might help you to cope with changes in the way your breasts look.
Talk through your treatment with your surgeon and breast care nurse before your operation. It can help you deal with things later on. If you let your surgeon know that you want to have the complete picture, they will be honest with you.
You are likely to be very swollen and sore just after surgery but this won't last too long.
Some people find it reassuring to talk to people who have had similar experiences but it isn't helpful for everyone. Your surgeon or breast care nurse might be able to put you in touch with someone who has had a similar operation.
It's usually best to wait until a day or two after your operation before you first look in a mirror.
You might want to have someone with you when you first look at your scars. Your first view might be a shock. You might see stitches and the area might be bruised or swollen. So it might be best if you have someone there to support you.
The hospital staff will be very aware of your feelings and will do everything they can to reassure and help you.
The best source of support for most of us is family and friends. You might feel worried about upsetting them. But it can help to share your feelings and the people close to you will want to support you.
Try and let your partner know if you're having problems with your intimate relationships after the changes to your body.
Sometimes counselling can help you to work through any worries you have.
Breast surgery doesn't affect you being able to have sex. But your emotions might change your sexual feelings for a while. And you might worry about allowing your partner to see or touch your body.
There is no right or wrong way to approach this. You might feel very sensitive and need time to build up your courage to be looked at or touched by your partner. Or you might need almost instant comfort and find that a loving touch relieves your fear of being rejected.
You might find it helpful to take your partner with you for clinic visits before the operation. That way they will be prepared for how you will look after surgery.
There are many people who can help and support you. Not everyone feels comfortable asking for help. Talk to someone you trust. Some organisations can put you in touch with women in your area who have been through the same experience.
Find out about organisations that can help and support you
Sharon had surgery in 2016.
‘I never thought I would get back to full strength, it took me a while to enjoy life fully again.’
Last reviewed: 28 Jul 2023
Next review due: 28 Jul 2026
Most people begin their breast cancer treatment with surgery. Find out about the different types of surgery for breast cancer, how to prepare for your operation, and how to recover well.
Breast cancer is cancer that starts in the breast tissue. Find out about who gets breast cancer and where it starts.
You may find it difficult coping with a diagnosis of breast cancer both practically and emotionally. Find out about the things you can do and who can help you cope.
There are many organisations, support groups, books, videos and other resources to help you cope with breast cancer and its treatment. There is also information about mastectomy wear and prosthesis suppliers.
Find out about breast cancer, including symptoms, diagnosis, treatment, survival, and how to cope with the effects on your life and relationships.
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